Suk, for en dag

Midt i alle de planlagte krea- og juleindlæg kommer her en lille bid virkelighed.

Det startede så smukt og godt imorges, men idag blev en dag, der for alvor satte alting i perspektiv.

Min mor har skrantet et par dage, og med hendes knoglemarvscancer i tankerne er hun bare altid ekstra skrøbelig i mit hoved. Selv om hun overhovedet ikke lader det være et problem for hende selv. Men jeg var nervøs, og jeg frygtede der var noget på færde.

Og det gik galt idag. Hun endte i en feberrus helt konfus på hospitalet, fordi hun havde overset en lungebetændelse, jeg ved ikke hvor længe. Hun var slet ikke sig selv, og jeg var ved at dø af skræk over de ukendte prognoser, mens jeg sad ved hendes seng. Hun forsøgte at hvile, og mine skræmte tanker fyldte alt. De skreg hvinende rundt i lokalet og havde allerede gjort mig moderløs.

Ud over mine børn og min mand, er hun den, jeg er allermest bange for at miste. Det er jo det, det handler om. Mit forhold til hende er mere, end jeg kunne drømme om, og jeg ved, jeg er så utrolig heldig. Hun er en evig støtte, og hun hjælper med alt, og gør mit liv nemmere på så mange måder. I så høj grad, at tanken om at skulle klare det uden hende er ubærlig. At være voksen alene uden hende. Ikke at kunne dele alt det jeg deler med hende mere. Og Den Store Angst kom tæt på idag.

Nu hvor prøverne viser lungebetændelse er det måske vældig dramatisk, men sådan er det. Når man mere end een gang har troet, man skulle sige farvel, så bliver det bare meget let dramatisk.

Men det er en diagnose med håb. Det er kun en lungebetændelse. Og det er godt. Imorgen har hun sovet, fået væske, medicin, og forhåbenligt fået det lidt bedre.

Og om et par dage kan hun måske klare at få en lille reprimande om at skulle passe lidt mere på sig selv, og turde tage imod noget af den hjælp, hun selv deler så stort ud af.

Advertisements

The Dress!

With a capital D – because it deserves it!

And actually it´s not just one Dress, it could in theory be 3 different ones, for the 3 different parties, if I cannot decide on one.. That´s not so bad. Although you must not think that I am going to spend a filthy amount of money on it/them, since we don´t really have that – and in tune with the #YOEF (year of ethical fashion) that would kinda be a sin. So I hope to find something in the thrift shops, in my wardrobe, in somebody else´s wardrobe or in my fabric stash that I can use to sew. And I am not afraid of making my own wedding dress – what do they say “every stitch in your dress will be a tear in your marriage”? Well, I do expect some tears, and I will just make it with a minimum of stitches and hope it does not fall apart as I am wearing it. And if the sewing fails I will buy something that is nice, but obviously not too expensive on a student-wedding-budget. Behold – a challenge! Love challenges.

But I would like to show you what I dream of, and what I have always wished I would get married in.

The Dress:

Cat-on-a-Hot-Tin-Roof-classic-movies-11052307-950-534

Elizabeth Taylor in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”. That dress. That rack. And that waist! Oh dear, if only I could make that with my sewing machine..

 

Apart from the Elizabeth Taylor one, which I like perhaps because I love the film so much, I am very much into chic styles – and for the daytime wedding(s) we will have, something not too huge and knee-length like these from my pinterest “I do”-board:

dress 2 dress 3 dress

 

 

I guess it must be quite obvious that I like lace.

 

Cannot wait to get started on this project!

So far I have bought this confirmation dress in a thrift shop, so I now have the first piece of fabric.

20140327-194004.jpg

So, this is happening –

 

Summer is coming, and with that the 14th of July, where it will be 7 years since Alan and I met that amazing night in the not so classy London-club Ruby Blue.

 

So we have decided to tie the knot that day. Just low key. Townhall vows and the family who are avaible and want to come.

 

The following week we travel to London where we are going to have a party in a rugby club that we are fortunate enough to borrow.

 

And sometime later in the summer we will have a loud party and get drunk with our friends.

 

Its been a long process of deciding and trying to plan it out. What we would like. What we could afford. And now we have a date, and I am so happy.

 

It is no huge dreamy princess wedding. No grand ball. No inviting the whole Danish and English family to some luxury resort.  That will have to wait till we are rich one day. And no choice whether to have it in Denmark or England. We will simply just do both. And it will be for the girls as much as for us. Two hopefully cosy day-weddings where the kids can play and we can bathe in sun and love.

 

3 lovely parties in all, so we can celebrate it with as many as possible. And with each other.

 

There is lots and lots and lots of planning still. Dress. Food. A ring. Cake. All the things that cost but are so nice to dream about.

 

I am excited! Yay!

 

pic2B058296DA75CC5CBE44B3237C045DC7

Enter awesomeness!

Last year Alan and I went to this amazing 80s party in town. The highlight of our year.

Today there is exactly one month till we are going again. I can’t wait.

We need some glitter, glam and awesomeness in our lives. And romance. Lots of romance. Alan is a dude who dances, and that’s one of the reasons he is the best! He especially enjoys dancing to cheesy 80s music.

This year I am thinking about making myself into a Robert Palmer ‘addicted to love’ kinda girl, and Alan will be either Magnum P. I. or Ziggy Stardust. Sounds great, right!

20140313-191144.jpg

20140313-191153.jpg

20140313-191207.jpg

20140313-191200.jpg

20140313-191214.jpg

20140313-191223.jpg

20140313-191233.jpg

20140313-191241.jpg

20140313-191249.jpg

20140313-191258.jpg

20140313-191307.jpg

A little bit about music..

Just read a post from one of my favourite Danish bloggers, The Jules who rules, and she wrote something about music and a book, that touched me quite a bit. The book is Eleanor & Park, and I am instantly going to order it from the library to read. But Jules also wrote about playlists, how music is something that brings us back to certain times in our lives.

I feel the same way. Music has been ever so important in my life, and now I feel unfortunately that it is quite far away from my everyday. I have simply turned into the grumpy old man, who wants the radio turned off, because he cannot focus when the kids are playing, his other half trying to tell him something important, or he just needs to think. I need silence. Too much noise turns into simply – noise. Boring, but the thruth.

Music is something I mostly put on when I am alone, to celebrate that me-time, to give me energy when I am being creative, baking, cleaing, or to set the mood to whatever I am going to do. Unfortunately I do not listen to enough music with the girls or Alan, because somebody always needs for me to listen at some point, and then I can´t enjoy the music at the same time. But it´s a shame, because it can be really great to dance around the whole family. Mental note : I want to do that more!

I also miss singing and playing, but hopefully that will come back too, as we have borrowed a piano from my aunt. She does not really play it anymore, so I now have the chance again.

– And now I have just started thinking about music, how it takes me down all the memory lanes in my mind.

Danish pop-group Rocazino is some of the first I can remember. Watching their music videos with my dad on Beta Max – yep, that´s how cool he was.

Beatles at my dads place, both on lp and on his guitar.

Janis Ian while crafting with my mum on sundays.

Leonard Cohen at my dads. He even made me mixed tapes, so I could listen to it at my mum´s. I still love his voice and lyrics.

Madonna at my older cousin´s, late 80´s, a whole new world of empowerment and POP opened up. (Also, I wanted to be just like my cousin. She was the coolest.)

The Police and Sting when I was around 11-12. God I was so in loooove with the punk-version of Sting, not the tantra one. And none of my peers knew who they were. I was such a music nerd.

Britpop in every way for my early teens. In my room. At the youthclub. Hoping I would someday meet somebody I could speak English to. Hey, look what happened!!

Tori Amos, from when I was 13. She was my hero. I sang and sang her songs all day and all night. Wishing I could be her.

In my late teens a special friend introduced me to the Swedish band Kent, and they were my soundtrack to moving away from home. Starting my own life with mismatched cups and all the wrong boyfriends in the world.

Cheesy 90s stuff and Britney to take me through the endless partying of my 20s.

Robyn, New Order, Interpol, Depeche Mode, Kings of Leon from the summer I met Alan.

The list goes on, and it stays in my heart. I love music, and I cannot wait to pass it on to the next generation.

– What is the playlist to your life?

20140206-205211.jpg

My little helper

I wish I could have just as much fun sorting through stuff as little Roxie..

20130522-124524.jpg

I have a whole house that needs a good sorting and cleaning, and really I would love to do nothing but potter today, but my thesis is due Monday, and I made a plan with myself to finish it today.

I need to write that final line and then just press save for the last time. Now. Then I will be free to do whatever I want.

Glorious times

It’s no secret that life with two little girls does not always leave much time for Alan and I to talk, connect and all that jazz. We laugh a lot, look at our daughters and sigh – sometimes in frustration but mostly with happiness, but talking is something we forget to do. There is always someone singing, screaming or needing attention, so we almost never finish our conversations.

So today my joy was great as Alan leaned in from outside through the kitchen window as I was preparing some dinner and he was chopping some wood (sounds idyllic doesn’t it..) and simply said, that this life makes him very happy.

That was short but all I needed to know. And I heard every word.

20130519-193346.jpg

My man and the girls in front of the chicken coop. Life is sometimes really, really good.

More pictures of a great weekend with family.

20130519-193548.jpg

20130519-193553.jpg