Category Archives: skandimama karoline

Trying to blow some life into this old blog again..

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Hello.

 

Rather crazy to be back after such a long time. But it seems I am. Or well. At least for this one post.

I have thought about the blog so many times after I stop writing. And why did I stop? I guess I just got sick and tired of writing about feeling like shit after cancer and the awful healing process. But that seems further away now. Touch wood. So perhaps I can come back to just having a kinda-normal, creative, secret-spilling, boring, awkward, cosy and old school blog. That´s what I would like for sure.

 

The whole blog world has changed so much. I remember spending a lot of time writing posts, following all my favourite bloggers and their lives, and then suddenly so many seemed to disappear. And so much of the content I used to like became ads and ads and ads.

And so I stopped blogging and stopped reading as well. And when I came back to start reading again so many good bloggers were gone. Some still there though, and I have been hanging on to you!

 

I would like to come back now. I don´t know exactly how, so much has changed.

I now have two big girls who don´t want me to share all kinds of fun things they do. So I will respect that. Also I work full time, so I don´t know where the time for this blog will come from. But I will try and make it work! Cause I missed this! I have so many ideas for creative projects that I would like to get done, and maybe this blog can help me.

The update now, almost 3 years since the last post, is that life can get back to an almost normal state after being seriously ill. It takes time, but I do dare believe in the future again. The physical pain is also getting much better. And reading here on the blog from the last posts I can suddenly remember how awful it all was. Happy to have progressed to a better place.

I am so lucky I am here with my family. Abnormally grateful for life is what I am.

Nothing much to say, but I will try anyways

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This post is sad and I don’t even really want to write it. But without it the blog will just fade out, cause I am sure not going to write anything else.

Alan’s grandad passed away. He was a strong, strong man, and he fought hard to the end. We are all sad, and it feels wrong to not ever get to see him again. He always called me slim. Even when I wasn’t. Always so lovely. A great man.

………..

I have been dealing with some health issues. Quite anxiety based, and I finally got my doctor to send me off to further tests at the hospital. Because I basically thought I was dying all the time. All in my head perhaps, but still there.

The tests were supposed to make me feel safe and better. To show me that there is nothing wrong and that I am not sick.

Yesterday at the intestinal test (yay for that ugly image) they found something. Something they could not just remove there, so they had to send me off for more tests, tissue testing and an operation at another hospital.

It was very strange how the mood changed in the hospital room, from the nice nurses trying to chat and joke to take my mind off the uncomfort (or we can say annoying pain) of having a camera up my bum, to the sudden serious mood when the doctor found the nasty polyp. And all I could think of apart from dying was that it’s so unfair thinking of all the broccoli I have eaten.

It’s probably nothing (touch wood). And most often these growths are not dangerous. But for somebody with a serious anxiety fear of cancer and dying, it’s a bad situation.

Every other moment I am thinking its going to be ok. That it has to be ok. And the next I am thinking about who I can match Alan up with to give the girls a nice stepmom.

It’s ridiculous. Painful and annoying. And I just want those feelings to go away. And I want the ugly growth out.

But for now its just about waiting. And pass the time watching silly comedies, reading only books with happy-endings, and blocking all that’s not pleasant to think about.

I should know the result middle of next week.

I know all of you will cross your fingers for me. Thanks for that.

The silly drawing is just trying to make it all a bit funny. There should be a card for a colon check-up. Because humour is what you need in a situation like that.

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The Dress!

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With a capital D – because it deserves it!

And actually it´s not just one Dress, it could in theory be 3 different ones, for the 3 different parties, if I cannot decide on one.. That´s not so bad. Although you must not think that I am going to spend a filthy amount of money on it/them, since we don´t really have that – and in tune with the #YOEF (year of ethical fashion) that would kinda be a sin. So I hope to find something in the thrift shops, in my wardrobe, in somebody else´s wardrobe or in my fabric stash that I can use to sew. And I am not afraid of making my own wedding dress – what do they say “every stitch in your dress will be a tear in your marriage”? Well, I do expect some tears, and I will just make it with a minimum of stitches and hope it does not fall apart as I am wearing it. And if the sewing fails I will buy something that is nice, but obviously not too expensive on a student-wedding-budget. Behold – a challenge! Love challenges.

But I would like to show you what I dream of, and what I have always wished I would get married in.

The Dress:

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Elizabeth Taylor in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”. That dress. That rack. And that waist! Oh dear, if only I could make that with my sewing machine..

 

Apart from the Elizabeth Taylor one, which I like perhaps because I love the film so much, I am very much into chic styles – and for the daytime wedding(s) we will have, something not too huge and knee-length like these from my pinterest “I do”-board:

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I guess it must be quite obvious that I like lace.

 

Cannot wait to get started on this project!

So far I have bought this confirmation dress in a thrift shop, so I now have the first piece of fabric.

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Also –

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Life is weird.

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I wrote this post several days ago – a week maybe. I can’t remember. I did not want to post it then. But here goes.

Alan’s grandad is still not out of the woods, but he is a tough old man fighting with everything he’s got. So we hope for the best.

Alan’s passport has expired, so he can’t even go and see him. It makes the distance to London huge.

One of my favorite bloggers received news that her cancer is terminal. And I have no words to give her, because they are all just flat and stupid. I wish I could do more. I just know she once wrote we should meet up at a blogger meeting, and I kept hoping for that. I look up to her for her writing and her personality, she stood up for things, and I was so proud that she wanted to meet me too.
She has a young son. And she has fought so hard. Life is awful and random.

I went to the doctor on Friday with fear of lumps behind my implants. The doctor said it was all fine, but I carry the fear constantly.

We are all coughing, feeling mondayblue- and tired for our different reasons, and I have been a shitty mum and girlfriend today.

I will kiss everyone when they are asleep tonight.

And tomorrow.

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I have kissed them all a lot since that Monday.

A little bit about music..

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Just read a post from one of my favourite Danish bloggers, The Jules who rules, and she wrote something about music and a book, that touched me quite a bit. The book is Eleanor & Park, and I am instantly going to order it from the library to read. But Jules also wrote about playlists, how music is something that brings us back to certain times in our lives.

I feel the same way. Music has been ever so important in my life, and now I feel unfortunately that it is quite far away from my everyday. I have simply turned into the grumpy old man, who wants the radio turned off, because he cannot focus when the kids are playing, his other half trying to tell him something important, or he just needs to think. I need silence. Too much noise turns into simply – noise. Boring, but the thruth.

Music is something I mostly put on when I am alone, to celebrate that me-time, to give me energy when I am being creative, baking, cleaing, or to set the mood to whatever I am going to do. Unfortunately I do not listen to enough music with the girls or Alan, because somebody always needs for me to listen at some point, and then I can´t enjoy the music at the same time. But it´s a shame, because it can be really great to dance around the whole family. Mental note : I want to do that more!

I also miss singing and playing, but hopefully that will come back too, as we have borrowed a piano from my aunt. She does not really play it anymore, so I now have the chance again.

– And now I have just started thinking about music, how it takes me down all the memory lanes in my mind.

Danish pop-group Rocazino is some of the first I can remember. Watching their music videos with my dad on Beta Max – yep, that´s how cool he was.

Beatles at my dads place, both on lp and on his guitar.

Janis Ian while crafting with my mum on sundays.

Leonard Cohen at my dads. He even made me mixed tapes, so I could listen to it at my mum´s. I still love his voice and lyrics.

Madonna at my older cousin´s, late 80´s, a whole new world of empowerment and POP opened up. (Also, I wanted to be just like my cousin. She was the coolest.)

The Police and Sting when I was around 11-12. God I was so in loooove with the punk-version of Sting, not the tantra one. And none of my peers knew who they were. I was such a music nerd.

Britpop in every way for my early teens. In my room. At the youthclub. Hoping I would someday meet somebody I could speak English to. Hey, look what happened!!

Tori Amos, from when I was 13. She was my hero. I sang and sang her songs all day and all night. Wishing I could be her.

In my late teens a special friend introduced me to the Swedish band Kent, and they were my soundtrack to moving away from home. Starting my own life with mismatched cups and all the wrong boyfriends in the world.

Cheesy 90s stuff and Britney to take me through the endless partying of my 20s.

Robyn, New Order, Interpol, Depeche Mode, Kings of Leon from the summer I met Alan.

The list goes on, and it stays in my heart. I love music, and I cannot wait to pass it on to the next generation.

– What is the playlist to your life?

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Here’s to a happy, less online and more sustainable new year!

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Happy new year to all! I hope you had a good one.

As in my last post, I have been thinking a lot about sustainability, buying less crap, being more mindful and generally greener (and more smug presumably..)

Alan and I have talked a lot about it all, and it feels great that we agree on so much of it. I can already feel that I am much more relaxed, that I DON’T have to go out and see what’s on in the sales in town or online. That I know that this or that cheap shirt won’t make me happier.

And that I actually have enough shirts to last me a lifetime.

Also it has made me realize – with an enormous amount of guilt, that I have enough of everything to last me a lifetime.

That also goes for fabric.

Therefore I have decided to start sorting it, knowing what I can turn into stuff for the girls, myself, others, or the house. And I hope to make some good DIYs to put on the blog, to inspire some of you to create something as well.

So watch this space – I have lots of things on my mind, and I hope to get back into crafty blogging.

It was great to do some sorting and cutting with Jolina. It reminds me of how big she is getting, and how much fun it is to be in the creative zone together. Even though it just meant that she was practicing cutting on the scraps. One day we will hopefully be sewing and crafting together all of us. Me and my girls.

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Holiday wise the girls are both off from daycare and kindergarten still, and we are enjoying spending time with them. They have both grown a lot lately, and they can say and do so much more than just last week. It’s a lot of fun and a lot of hard work.

We try to be in the moment with them, and that is one of the resolutions for this year. To go offline for as much as possible for whatever part of the day we spend with them. Gadgets, Facebook and Instagram will always be there, but the girls will grow up so quickly. Sounds like a cliche..? It is a cliche, but its still true.
I was sick of myself checking new likes and updates every five minutes. Could the internet exist without me? Alan was much better at leaving his phone and being in the moment. I was rubbish. It was an addiction to me, and what an empty one. I realized it’s fine to go online in the evening, when I have time, when the girls are not asking me important questions and wanting me to take part of their game. In the evening when I have time, I can enjoy my favorite intstagrammers and bloggers as with a good magazine, and it turns into a lovely bit of me-time. And it’s great not to feel the guilt of having to check my screen – even when playing with the girls. Sounds smug..? Well, I am, because change feels awesome. I guess the internet can exist – even though there are less postings from me.

I choose happiness. Doing things that make me happy in the long run. It’s a new thing, cause I am used to very instant rewards. And I want to hope for the best in everything. I want to worry less by doing good things.

So much change is coming in 2014. What a great year it will be.

(And let’s hope the universe does not hit me with a bus for feeling this good for once..)

Hooray!

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Sorry for the delay in posts, but I finally got my BA-degree. Had my exam yesterday and then the party tonight.

It feels great to be done and ready for new challenges. And a little bit of summer holiday!

Thanks to my family and friends for helping me through.

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Our house

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I have just been in touch with the IKEA LIVE Family magazine, and they are perhaps, perhaps, perhaps going show our house in the fall edition of the magazine. That could be so great! I love everything Swedish, everything IKEA, and to have our home on IKEA-paper could be amazing. But nothing is certain yet, so I better not get my hopes up. Hard not to, though..

I sent them these pictures I have taken at times when our home was not at its messiest state, but with two little girls (and me) around, it most often is.

As you can maybe see, there is quite a lot of IKEA in our home – and also a lot we have changed to make new furniture solutions. I really like it, and even though our house is so messy, it is my favourite place of all.

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I am back!

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It is been a little while, and I have not done as much with this blog as I wanted. I have been busy at school, with my Danish blog and with a lot of other projects. But now I feel like it is time to get serious with this, and so, I welcome you again.

My intention with this blog is to share some of the things I do at home with the girls, creative niceness, stuff happening in my hometown, and well, just random quiet life. Amazing stuff, really!

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What is not so amazing, this happened to my beloved blender yesterday. Smoothie all over the kitchen. Sometimes it would just have been better to have some bacon for breakfast and not try to be so healthy!

 

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